The other day, someone started a thread on Ravelry about how people should smile in their finished object photos and how designers should use smiling models. Selfies or otherwise. Lots of people went in and explained reasons why folks don't smile in photos. Folks went in and mentioned disliking photos where there's more hair/face than crafted item.
Then the OP, who may have been sensing that the tide was not with them, posted links to pages as examples. This cowl she liked more because the model smiled. That one she didn't like as much because the model was not smiling.
Someone posted a photo of their partner wearing a beautiful hand-knit sweater not looking happy at all. It was explained that he is funny, light-hearted and smiles often but not so much in photos. (I'm para-phrasing here.) People mentioned they smile in photos and it doesn't go well. Or that they just photograph well.
Happily, a mod wandered in and removed the links posted as examples and the thread was locked.
Thankfully, I saw all this from the comfort and warmth of my bed on a Sunday morning and stayed out of it for the most part. I did flag a post but that's because of this simple fact...
Not everyone looks great in photos. Not everyone wants to be judged by how they look. Not everyone wants everyone to see what they look like... and I like to think that most of us are not looking for praise from others.
Honestly? I would curl up and die if someone did that to me.
I used to go around with a man who was always telling me to smile. I was young and took it. Now, after having been put through so much crap by so many people, I would not take it. I would explain that how I look may not relate to how I'm feeling, that it's not my job to look pretty for anyone, and that men telling women to smile is just bullshit. How I look or feel or come across is on no one but me.
There's a reason we don't see a lot of me on this blog, people. There's a reason it took me 20 minutes to get a semi-okay photo of my new hairstyle for my girlies on the faceyspace. There's a reason it's a huge trust issue for me these days.
I am unbelievably insecure and twitchy. I know why. I know where it came from, and I really am working on it. However, very few people know the whys/whos and it's staying that way because I don't need more people talking about me than are already. I'll survive and I will be fine.
My point? Not my job to look the way you want me to look. Or do what you want. Or think how you think I should. What I do is not for you. I know that's shocking for all those emotionally fat judgy bitches out there who can't just be happy but too bad. Spare us all the entitlement, thanks.
Oh, and I knit a pair of socks...

Project Page Here!
I took them to my LYs this morning and Babetta, the owner, commented on how matchy they are. I reminded her that she shouldn't be surprised because she knows me. She laughed and agreed.
Those socks are my love letter to being compulsive and controlling. They are not perfect but close enough to make me happy. Right now, that's all that matters.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some hooking to do.
I know right!