Yesterday morning, for reasons I'm still slightly unsure of, I suffered through the Live with Kelly program. Good morning television at its most stereotypical and intellectually limited best/worse.
There was a man from a zoo on with nocturnal animals. The hostess, for reasons I will never understand, was smelling her hands after handling the animals. o.O The zoo chappy brought out a beautiful orange and white milk snake. That's when we learned that the hostess was unable to understand the difference between poisonous and venomous. I never realized that was a difficult concept to grasp. What do I know?
Then there was the sidekick/chap in a suit, who was left holding the milk snake. The audience shrieked and made all sorts of horrified lady noises as the snake slowly wound her way around the chap's neck. Snakes like warm. The collar of a suit coat would be warm. Hello!
I know. I know... I'm using the earth logic again. One should not do such silly things while watching a tv show clearly aimed at people who believe that a woman's place is in the kitchen and that colors can have a gender. Because this was very clearly that sort of program.
It really makes me wonder what the archeologists will make of us in two thousand years when they only have our trash and hard drives to figure us out. It gives me a headache just thinking about it.
Personally, I like snakes. Oh, and, you actually watched Live with Kelly? Are you feverish?
Posted by: Becky | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 04:03 AM
Daytime television (heck, most ALL television) is a frightening wasteland kind of place. You are quite the adventurer to make a quest . . . and bring back field notes for the rest of us not-quite-so-daring souls.
Thanks for the reminder of why my television remains OFF.
Posted by: Kym | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 04:27 AM
I despite that show. It was bad enough when Regis was on but now it's even worse!
Posted by: Carole | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 04:56 AM
I love following the spam bots. I have to admit of all the daytime shows, that I could watch (with only one channel on your tv, the choices are a bit limited) I find Live the most innocuous. I hope I haven't just dragged your opinion of all your lurkers down too far. I also don't watch it every day, since I'm not usually home during the day.
Posted by: Jennifer | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 05:27 AM
You watched what? Isn't the whole idea to get a reaction? Night time TV isn't much better, is it?
Posted by: margene | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 05:37 AM
It was a bit more interesting when Regis was still on the show. His crankiness added a bit of color. I haven't seen it since he left though...Kelly didn't seem to be a good one to leave in charge...
Happy Tuesday!
xoxo
Posted by: Marilyn | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 06:36 AM
We haven't had TV for at least 10 years. Can't say I miss it much. (For the rare things that I do want to watch - Fringe, Castle, Warehouse 13 - Hulu is quite sufficient.)
Thanks for the reminder on why we're happy we don't have a cable bill any more. 8)
Posted by: gayle | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 09:00 AM
Yay! I am super happy I have never even heard of that show!
Today I am trying not to freak out over nothing much! And not kill my coworkers! Success so far! (30 minutes in)
Posted by: Big Alice | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 09:27 AM
Good grief, snakes (especially in the hands of a zoo dude) are not to be feared! Since N. won't simply ditch the tv, I've limited myself to watching shows only via streaming. It helps me not wonder the same things as you!
Posted by: Beverly | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 09:43 AM
I never thought about the difference between poisonous and venomous and tend to use them interchangeably, but on reflection I see that is inaccurate. That is my lesson for the day! I read a short story in Anthropology in college describing archaeologists excavating North America centuries after catastrophic event (like Pompeii) and they theorized that we spent many hours engaged in worshipping the TV since so many ppl were found to have been staring at one at the moment of the catastrophe.
Posted by: Kitten | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 09:51 AM
Ugh, daytime television! Frightening!
Posted by: Kelly | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Venomous vs. poisonous, hmmm. Must google.
::googling::
::reading::
Okay, got it. Rattlesnakes are venomous, poison ivy is poisonous. Never thought about that distinction before, but of course it is obvious. So the bimbo thought touching the snake would impart toxins to her hands? Sheesh.
I have never watched that show, ever. And now I never will. You may feel free to check in on it and report back, however, particularly on any further egregious examples of stoopidity.
Wait. Maybe she was afraid of salmonella? Yeah, that's it. I'd hate to think Ms. Bimbo was that stupid...
Posted by: kmkat | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 03:27 PM
Oh my goodness. You really are in a bad way. Please seek immediate care for your illness.
You watched the whole show?
Posted by: Natalie | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 05:08 PM
I am most concerned about your masochistic tendencies and their possible manifestations. Srsly? Kelly whatsherface???? I still think you are wonderful, but..............
Posted by: CindyCindy | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 06:00 PM
They'll think it's the 1950's. TV style.
Posted by: Carrie K | Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 07:40 PM
They'll also have skeletons with strange silicone bags on their chests.
Posted by: Cheryl S. | Wednesday, August 29, 2012 at 07:05 AM
Glad that you are back. Love love love yesterday's socks.
Posted by: Doris | Wednesday, August 29, 2012 at 12:43 PM
I think you should go to itunes and download the Greg Proops Smartest Man in the World podcasts (they're free) and just listen to an intelligent funny person instead of a hungry skinny lady with big white venomous teeth. That's what I did today and the gym and laughed my way through several bike miles.
Posted by: silvia | Wednesday, August 29, 2012 at 02:41 PM