I stopped being angry/annoyed.
No, I'm not at peace with it. Please. Y'all know better than that.
It started last month with the Big Brother racist roommates business. No, I don't watch the show, however, for a while there, one could not avoid hearing about it. The employer of one of the girls put out a release talking about how they had hoped their young clients would watch the show and look up to their now former employee with the unfortunate belief system.
That got me thinking about folks who want to be put on pedestals and how well that normally goes/what kind of folks they tend to be. This led to some tweeting, which got me an email from a friend asking if I was referring to So&So. O.o
Ummmm... no. Oddly enough, I do not read So&So. Although, I had heard the stories. Another case of wanting to be held up for admiration for something they are doing wrong. There seems to be a lot of this going around lately. Or I need to do a better job of cleaning out of my feed thingy. Again.
That whole "admire me/love me/think I'm fabulous" thing makes me wonder. It goes hand in hand with the whole emotionally needy "prayer circle" business just makes me tired. Y'all know what's going on over here. That thing we don't talk about. Maybe that's why I'm always so amazed to hear about someone needing hand held to get a pedicure or something that most folks do without a second thought in daily life. You're a grown up. If you can't handle the day to day bullshit, maybe you should be looking into some therapy rather than trying to get people to believe you're all knowing on a subject you very clearly no nothing about. Take that admire/love/fabulous thing with you too please.
Don't get me wrong. I do get it. I have my moments but they are aimed at one person in the context of a relationship when they happen and that's not all that often frankly. I'm never going to ask for a prayer circle or blanket squares or any of that bullshit. I'm a mess and I know it, but I know what's wrong with me and how to fix it.
I'm not wasting time being fake and trying to fool my readers into thinking I'm something I'm not. I'm not trying to sell a bill of goods that we all know are a lie. I think that's what annoys me most. Who are you trying to fool? The kind naive people who read you? Or yourself? Because everyone sees the act. Yes, even in text... even online. People aren't stupid.
Okay, they are but that's a different rant for a different day.
Yeah, so, I'm over it. If your life is so fucked up and you're so empty/broken/whatever that you need random strangers to admire you or look up to you or whatever, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends to sit you down and have a Come To Jesus with you. I'm sorry that your sense of self-worth is so fucked up. I'm sorry that you're so lazy/spoiled/whatever that you can't/won't do your own research and actually learn something because being the be-all end-all know-it-all is what you think people need you to be. I'm sorry that you are (clearly) not getting the kind of emotional support that you need at home.
Mostly, I'm sorry that I keep having to hear about it because I've got better things to do/deal with.
If you think I'm talking about you, I'm not. The folks who need to hear it are in too deep in a well of denial to ever see the truth in my words. Plus they don't generally read me unless someone has linked them. Yeah, I see who visits. Remember?