Longing and desire lead to flirting with things you normally never dare to think of. Passion and need override common sense, logic and all reality. You want what you want and the world be damned. Other relationships fade away in the bright burning light of the new passion. Personalities clash, unrealistic expectations cause upset and sleepless nights. Rethinking and self-doubt make everything harder. Disappointment erases any sense of hope and joy you have and you walk away.
You catch a glimpse of your former love. Perhaps across a crowded room. Although, that's not very likely. You think about the passion and heartbreak and wonder if it's worth trying to make things right. Would it be worth the effort and compromise to face the dreadful truth about your own denial and try to fix it? Perhaps even try to make it work?
Not something you tell people about, of course. Once people know, those people will want to know how it's going. Either in an attempt to be supportive or because they're nosy or because they have their own ill-fated love affairs of their own. The fear of being judged is too much. Best to keep quiet until you know how things are going to turn out.
Honestly, I'm still not sure how it's going to turn out. Will we be happy together? Will this lead me to other affairs or will this be my one and only? Yeah, it's me. It's not like I can be faithful to just one, but who knows what a girl might be willing to do for love?
I continue to worry about denial and lack of compatibility but we'll see how it goes once the cardi is done blocking and shit.
What? Did you think I was talking about something else? *L*